I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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