I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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