sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
