Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
