I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
