sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
