just tell him i said nine months
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
