areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
