My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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