Whod you bang
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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