so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
