i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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