I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
sex in a hospital.. check
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
