Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
