He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
