It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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