I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
