we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dude. I can hear the air.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize