Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
