I'm lost and stupid without you.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
