After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
