We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
