So drunk its hurt
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
