he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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