At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
