i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
