yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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