omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
