went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It was confusing and full of hummus
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize