Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
