god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize