Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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