she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
