Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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