Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
