the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
