lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
