you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
