Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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