And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
