You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
