i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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