just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
