we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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