I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.