we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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