My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be