I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your shirt... Was in my pants