I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket