so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
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Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season