Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
