I murdered the dance floor call the cops
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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