you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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