dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
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This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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