Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
