whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
