Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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