Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
