if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
