remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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