I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
