you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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