Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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