If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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