i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
