I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
